lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
