I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize