you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
