Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Randomize
