If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Help. Why am I so naked?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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