he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
