There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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