i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
