my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
