it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
