We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is Oprah even human
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
