he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
