doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
