where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize