It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I have grass duct taped all over my body
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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