I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize