oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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