went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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