the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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