I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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