If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
