she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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