i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize