sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Pants are for mortals
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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