Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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