This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm really into asian looking animals
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
