New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
