just tell him i said nine months
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
