4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
