Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
