I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
