you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
