i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
you made out with another girl for some wings
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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