He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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