At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
