is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This is my gift to your gina
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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