There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
