i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I met the friendliest cop last night
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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