that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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