Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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