Sry I called you an 8
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
