Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
the liver wants what the liver wants
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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