READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
