my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
