I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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