There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
