she smelled like a LAN party
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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