honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
