the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
