That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
