we have officially lost it.
I wish I could teleport
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
