dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
