O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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