theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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