SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
