Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
