I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
