I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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