Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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