better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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