Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
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I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
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you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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