addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
